With all of the Zen I’ve read, and all of the “just be” mantras I’ve got scribbled all over my home and notebooks, I’ve yet to find being myself any easier. I know how to swag it out. How to smooth the edges so the presentation is slick while my brain rams against the walls in my head, demanding everything and nothing of me. I’m better at sorting through the pile of mixed messages in search of what should stick, though even when it sticks, the noise can grow so loud that the whispers of truth are lost.
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Skinny Bits 5.17.13

Lesson I’m learning: when my mind feels like it’s swirling out of control, I need to take a moment and stop. The swirling means I’m over stimulated. The answer isn’t more stimulus via music or some other distraction in my phone. The answer is to just stop everything.

I downloaded Eve’s new album Liplock and I love it. I didn’t expect to like anything so poppish and Euro-influenced, but I vibe to it. Even the first single “She Bad Bad”–which I thought was awful at first–grew on me. This isn’t a review or recommendation, by the way. I have long retired from debating and explaining my likes, so I won’t be responsible for you giving the album a listen.

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Resolutions and Bully Battles

While the world made their bold predictions and weighty promises for the new year, the first day of 2013 looked a lot like most of my 2012: I was seated on my red couch, with my legs curled beneath me (right leg on top, feet tucked under my derrière–if I keep folding this way, I’m guaranteed to get the Arthritis that plagued my grandmother’s knees and since this is the year I turn 30, I’m more concerned about these things), watching ESPN. I can’t remember if First Take was on New Year’s Day, but if so, I was likely listening to Skip and Stephen A’s bold assumptions and marital bickering over matters in the sports world. Like every year since 2008, I was going into 2013 without resolutions. I have but one plan: to spend my 30th birthday weekend in New Orleans. Outside of that, I was set to let 2013 do what it do.

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