For Christmas, I decided to treat myself to a plane ticket out of town. It had been years since I visited my older brother and his wife in New Jersey and I knew that my first unattached New Year in four years would not be an easy one. Especially since all of my closest friends are hermits and wouldn’t have any cool plans. My brother’s annual New Year’s Eve house party would be just what the doctor ordered. Not only was I missing my family but I needed the getaway. Just three days after I booked the ticket, my grandmother passed away and well… my trip out of town was exactly what I needed to bring in my New Year. So Wednesday evening (coincidentally my grandmother’s birthday), I boarded a plane to New Jersey.
The Deprogramming of SBG
“A woman’s life is love/A man’s love is life.” – Phonte of Little Brother, “Breakin My Heart.”
It’s just a line in a song. One rapper’s view on the male/female dynamic. Since the first time I heard Phonte of Little Brother utter these words in 2007, the line has haunted me. Three years ago, the fiery, I-Want-the-World-in-My-Hands SBG acknowledged this as absolute truth and sought to change it, at least within herself. My aim was to create a full life, one that made room for great love, but didn’t revolve around it.
We’re Not Them
Not sure how long today’s post will be. I’ve got more questions about today’s topic than answers.
When it comes to relationships, I often hear 20somethings wax poetic about the “good old days,” when men and women knew their respective roles, marriage was a sacred institution and people stayed together forever. Our grandparents courted. Our parents dated. And we? Well, we kinda date. But even “dating” sounds like too much of a commitment for some and so we “talk,” “kick it,” “hook up” and “hang out.”
Always the Wifey, Never the Wife
Last night, I decided to pick up an oldie but goodie from my personal library for a re-read. “Lil Mama’s Rules” a fiction book by Sheneska Jackson about a confirmed bachelorette and her strict dating practices, was first read by a sassy fourteen year old SBG. As I read, I came across a passage that I’d highlighted.
