In Fall 2011, I will begin the pursuit of my Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing with a concentration in Creative Non-Fiction.
Today officially marks the beginning of my application process. Four schools. Four cities. Four applications.
Summer To Do List
Fearlessness is the theme of the upcoming summer.
It started on Friday, after I got my TWA* trimmed (it is now a TWWA*) and I rode down the freeway with the windows down–which is awesome when you’re not concerned with disheveled hair–and I began to think. “Hmmm. This breeze feels great. What else have I shied away from doing for the sake of my hair. Hey, wait a minute. I can finally learn to swim.”
Over the next few days, random thoughts invaded my mind. They sounded like this:
Just a Piece
Yesterday I was having a text conversation with one of my fav East Coast homies (Shout out to him if he’s reading this) and the question came up: “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” Before I could even think twice, I found myself typing the words: “Mutlimedia mogul. Think smarter than Tyra but hipper than Oprah.” Immediately after I hit SEND, I thought to myself, Where the hell did that come from?
I have to admit that it sounded pretty damn good. I can certainly see myself there. The problem is the amount of sacrifice that goes into pursuing such a high goal. I must say, I’m not good at sacrificing. Not at all. I tend to set my goals in a way that allows me to stop and smell the roses every now and then because what’s the point in getting to a destination if you can’t enjoy the journey, you know? I ask myself a serious question almost daily. Do I want to have it all or just a nice manageable piece of it?
I’m not sure that there are any goals that are worth missing out on simple joys of life. Drinks with friends, lazy days spent doing absolutely nothing, skipping the occasional meeting for date night with someone special. Do I lack ambition if I say that those things are as important to my success as what I can achieve career wise? There are some people who have great tunnel vision. Within the last year I’ve come to enjoy taking the scenic route to my goals. Always mindful of the path, but occasionally veering off. Some turns in the road are more enjoyable than others, but even the rough patches have given me some lessons to take with me along the way.
Who knows what the future has in store for me? I guess only time will tell.
Visions. Paths. Positioning. Patience.
I posted this yesterday and it didn’t get the shine it deserved because of my rant on music. This one’s close to the heart so I wanted to make sure it got it’s needed attention.
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I was looking through some old posts and I came across this one, Everything and Then Some, where I basically put forth a vision for my life. Now, at the time, I was really just rambling, trying to make sense of some of the thoughts in my head. But now, as I read it, I realize that this was the first step in believing that my life could be more than what was in front of me at the moment. This is dated back to when I was still in recovery mode from my breakdown and I think I just needed to allow myself to dream big ;-)
Last week I was in an overall pissy mood, mainly because of the adjustments I have to make to my lifestyle due to my current financial situation. But when I read this and thought about the way my life is starting to take shape, I had to remind myself to be easy. That even when it may feel like I’m not moving “fast enough” on my vision, I’m positioning myself for it with the little things that I do everyday. Even if I’m not in a big rush to be published, everyday that I write here I expose my words to a new set of eyes. I’m creating an audience that, having a personal relationship with me through my blogging, will follow me when I do finally make that move. Even if Polished ain’t poppin as much as I’d like it to be right now, I’m working on building a team that will position the brand for future success. Even if I’m not “committed” right now, I’m learning so much about how I want my future romantic relationships to function (a helluva lot like the one I’m currently in!) so that when it comes time to settle down, I’ll know what it’s supposed to feel like. Even though I’m currently broke and struggling, the struggle will teach me how to make wiser decisions in the future that will give financial security as well as a few fun extras.
My biggest challenge right now is to learn to be patient with myself while not becoming complaicent. Understanding that the little things I do everyday keep me on the path to the vision that I’ve laid out for my life, even when people (including myself) can’t see it.
“I’m a woman of principle
Damn near invincible
In my own mind
Now that my soul’s aligned
I didn’t know before, but now my role’s defined
To stand hold and control what’s mine…”
- My Interpretation of words (c) Jay-Z, “People Talkin”
