While I may not be as active in the young black blogosphere as I once was, I have been reading (even if I’m not commenting on) a lot of blogs lately in my attempt to reacclimate myself to the community of blog homies that I’ve grown to know and love over the last two years. As much as I don’t “do” a lot of relationship blogs, I’ve found myself reading them a lot lately. Many of the blogs and comments written by my blog sisters regarding relationships have me feeling like the late Heath Ledger, Why so serious?
Where's the Fun?
Yes I understand that we’re adults and that we should be carving out lives for ourselves in the “real world” and naturally those lives include families. Sure, we’re all running around with our very detailed 5 Year Plans and sticking to those plans requires some tunnel vision. But damn. I’ve got to wonder am I the only 20something female who still dates for fun?
It could be a result of the relationships I’ve witnessed in my family, most of which were extremely dysfunctional. The one however, that seems to work best is my older brother’s marriage. He married in his late 30s (though wifey is seven years his junior), but he enjoyed his twenties and almost half of his thirties as a single man. Not to mention that of everyone’s favorite television divas, the Sex & the City crew, not one married a minute before age 35. Add to these examples the facts that I’m in no rush to bear children and not practicing any religion that dictates my love life (Not at all knocking those who do! Your beliefs are yours and very important!) and you’ve got who may be the last woman on earth whose willing spend time with a guy for the simple joy of his company.
I recently read a post on the FreshExpress that posed the question: How do you view dating? Do you only seriously date people in order to lead to marriage or do you date for pleasure? My response was this:
Hello I’m Robin Monique and I’m a Pleasure Dater.
I date for the joy of someone’s company. To experience his unique quirks that make him cool. To enjoy whichever connection comes from it (be it friend, fling, temporary boo or something more), take the lesson when its over and move on. Is there a Mr. Right out there for me somewhere? Of course. But I have no objection to enjoying the experiences and lessons learned from all the cool Mr. Right Nows in the meantime. Time well spent for me is never time wasted because each person left me with a valuable lesson I can take with me into the future or a crazy experience that makes me smile when I recall it.
Based upon the other comments I read, I was clearly in the minority. Perhaps then, this is why I do not believe in the supposed “good man” shortage. In the last two years I have consistently dated someone and have very little trouble finding new prospects. I now realize this is because while most girls are shopping for their next hubby (or at least long term live in boyfriend), I’m shopping for my next best guy friend, homey to watch the game with, dude that can do that one thing really well 
, funny guy to cheer me up when I’m pissed, smart guy who can give me good business advice, love of my life or whatever comes my way. Bottom line is that for me, a guy not being “The One” does not make him an automatic “waste of time.”
Am I the only mid to late 20something woman who feels this way?
