“I just hope you can figure yourself out.”
He found three different ways express this thought. That me putting an end to the relationship meant that there was something inherently “wrong” with me. I needed to “get it together,” “figure it out,” oh and my favorite, that I’m “so used to dysfunction.”
None of the above was true. Nor was there anything wrong with him.
When I decided to be open about my post break-up emotions, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that I didn’t have the energy to pretend. By that time, I’d realized my mistake: letting my attachment to my ex drive my behavior throughout the relationship and in its fallout. Not “attached” as in “I like having you around,” but the kind of attachment that comes from fear of uncertainty. It’s what makes us cling to what we know for far longer than we should because we’re afraid to face the unknown. As a believer in the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, I knew that attachment was a no-no, but since I was no Marty McFly there’d be no going back in time to adjust the behaviors that had led to my state of despair. I had no choice but to accept my circumstances and honor my emotions.
So as I’m sure all of you have noticed, my consistency in posting here has decreased quite a bit. I figured I’d take today’s post to explain why and also address another area where I feel myself growing.
The reason why I haven’t posted as much lately is that I am dealing with my break up. I’ve said this before, but I want to get into what that means and why it’s such a delicate subject.
Just a girl with a writing habit, using a blog to share my stories and passions. These are the tales, interests, and observations of the quiet nerd in the corner of the bookstore; the professional woman strutting down the street in slacks clutching her Blackberry; the dork in bed by 9pm on a Saturday night; and the B-girl in the middle of the dance floor getting down in her sensible shoes. Welcome to the world of The Skinny Black Girl.
