Skinny Bits 3.21.14

It’s been a long week, with a lot of ups and downs. I feel like that applies to the last three months. The amateur astrologist in me wants to chalk it up to all the planetary movements (Venus Retrograde at the beginning of the year, Mercury Retrograde in February, and now Mars Retrograde until May). The existentialist in me wants to shrug and say “That’s life.” Either way, it’s been a turbulent stretch that’s found me often lacking in confidence and grasping for something—anything—to anchor me through the difficulty.

And then finally Wednesday night, after I welcomed all my angst, stress, and anxiety with a bottle of wine, I decided to apply a fail-safe strategy: one day at a time. I started Thursday with a prayer “Let today, be today” and what do you know, I ended the day more relaxed than I’d been in weeks.

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I Poured My Misery a Glass of Wine

I poured my misery a glass of wine this evening.

I spend so much time fighting it, trying to chase it away with inspirational quotes and gratitude and laughs and conversations with my friends and work. I control my feelings, right? I can make my life whatever I want, right?

But it feels like no matter what goal I reach, the uneasiness finds its way in. Creeping up through cracks in the floor and breaking them wide open.

So tonight, exhausted from running from the thoughts that threaten to swallow me whole, I threw my hands up in surrender. Standing in the grocery store at 8:15pm, in Nike swishy pants and an eight-year-old hoodie, I asked my discontent what kind of wine it liked.

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