Grand Closing: Why My Comment Section is Now Closed

As of today, the comment section on The Skinny Black Girl is closed.

I’ll start by saying the decision wasn’t reactive or based on comments on yesterday’s post (none of which were malicious in any way). I’ve played with the idea for months and finally decided this morning to pull the trigger.

So if it wasn’t a reaction, what brought this on?

I’ve noticed that in comment sections on personal blogs, the authors’ stories are often lost in the conversation. Readers have a tendency to pull bits from stories and steer the conversation away from the entirety of the post. This is something you do when you’re dissecting an argument, but I don’t post arguments. I tell stories. While I respect the thoughts and feelings of my readers, I want to keep this site focused. The Skinny Black Girl isn’t a community, but a memoir. I don’t write to provoke conversation, but to share my experiences; experiences that aren’t up for debate. I love that my words can inspire thought and I encourage readers to take those thoughts into their lives and day-to-day conversations.

Read more…

The Art of Protecting Your Story

I remember an afternoon a few years ago, having a conversation with my then-boyfriend about a previous relationship; the big, epic love of my early and mid-20s that shaped so much of who I became after it ended. I was explaining the relationship’s unique nature; that he and I were committed, but not sexually monogamous. I let my ex see other women, sexually, while I maintained sexual exclusivity. Not so much out of obligation, but because I was good with having one partner, as long as I got to flirt as heavily as I wanted outside the relationship. I remember trying to make this make sense to the current guy, who was a few years younger than me and had much stricter, more traditional ideas about what relationships were supposed to be. More than anything, I remember the look of disgust on his face when I explained that I was fine with the arrangement, and how the ex and I sometimes laughed and joked about it. He interrupted me and said “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” It stung, coming from a man I’d pegged as a nice guy. His follow up of “I just don’t understand why you would do that when you’re worth so much more,” (which he meant as a compliment) only pushed the knife in deeper.

Read more…

Go to top