Lesson I’m learning: when my mind feels like it’s swirling out of control, I need to take a moment and stop. The swirling means I’m over stimulated. The answer isn’t more stimulus via music or some other distraction in my phone. The answer is to just stop everything.
I downloaded Eve’s new album Liplock and I love it. I didn’t expect to like anything so poppish and Euro-influenced, but I vibe to it. Even the first single “She Bad Bad”–which I thought was awful at first–grew on me. This isn’t a review or recommendation, by the way. I have long retired from debating and explaining my likes, so I won’t be responsible for you giving the album a listen.
I watched an interview of hers on the Breakfast Club where she discussed the process of creating music as an independent artist. She didn’t have grandiose expectations or need to make a huge imprint on the industry again. She did the album because she wanted to. Because she enjoyed the process of recording. She said she let the album happen organically; that she didn’t force collaborations. So much of this spoke to the space I’m creating in my life with detaching from outcomes and focusing on the process. It meant a lot to me to hear an artist whose rhymes influenced so much of my adolescence continue to speak from a place I could relate to. To top it off, she seems to be enjoying the hell out of her life.
I’ve struggled lately with whether I’m an optimist or pessimist, but I’m neither. Both pessimism and optimism rely on expectations and I’m working to release those. If I must be labeled, I’m a que sera sera-ist.
On a suggestion from a Twitter friend, I wrote myself a love letter. I was anxious about it because trying to hype myself up only triggers my self-loathing and creates noise in my mind, but that anxiety is why I wanted to do it. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to stop my depressive thoughts, but I can work alongside them. Good news? I pushed through the turbulence and finished the letter. Bad news? It’s so corny that it’s damn near unreadable. But hey, at least I did it.
“That’s one thing I know, you don’t know shit.” I saw this in an argument this week and cracked the hell up laughing. I’m waiting for an opportunity to say this to someone.
I had a real “old bitch in the club” moment last Friday. Not that I’m too old to go out and turn up, but there is a scene in Cleveland that I’ve aged out of. Provided great memories for my 20s, but it’s time for something new.
Y’all. Mad Men had a storyline during Sunday’s episode where Don Draper played out a dominant/submissive scene with his mistress that was sexy as hell. I still don’t know if I could execute the dom/sub thing, but I crossed and uncrossed my legs several times during the episode.
The Heat are in the Eastern Conference Finals. Pray I can stay Zen about it. #GoHeatOrWhatever