I know it’s been awhile since I posted Skinny Bits, but these days I’m only writing when I have something to say. It’s been so liberating since I stopped trying to be a writer and decided to create on my own time, on my own terms.
Posts will likely slow down because I canceled my Internet service at home. While looking for ways to save money, I came across an article on The Minimalists where the author talked about his month without Internet access at home. I was inspired. In addition to saving money, it’ll make me more productive at home and give me reasons to get my ass off of my couch more often. As I type, I’m hanging out at my neighborhood library, which I haven’t done since I was in grad school. It’s nice to be here for leisure instead of work.
I recently thumbed through Rainer Rilke’s book “Letters to a Young Poet,” and found this quote: “The point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far into the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” I’ve been working on living by this ever since. On a similar note, in a conversation on Twitter with my birthday twin @reeciecups about how the R&B singer Monica met her now husband, NBA player Shannon Brown, I said “Life can really come up with better shit than we can imagine. We’re too busy tryna control it to let it play out sometimes. Me especially. Lol.”
But I promise ya’ll, I’m working on letting go of the reigns. Little by little.
I have repeatedly been referred to as a “She Wolf” by my friends (most of them male), which I find hilarious. Likely because I remember being a shy, awkward, gangly teenager who was both fascinated with and terrified of boys. It’s hard to imagine myself as anyone’s man eater. I’m not. And I’m certainly not the type to aggressively pursue men. I realized recently though that I prefer choosing to being chosen. The last few fellas who found success with me were dudes that I chose first. I may have let them act first, but in my mind, they’d already been selected.
That said, there are girls who abide by Aaliyah’s “If at you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again” mantra and like to be chased. I’m not one of them. If I want you, you’ll know rather quickly.
In less significant news, I tried the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco from Taco Bell last night. I proceeded to sing Beyonce’s “Dance for You” to said tacos. I’ll let you decide what that means.
Skyzoo’s “Band Practice” series–four songs recorded with a live jazz band in preparation for a concert he held in New York last month that I would have sacrificed someone’s first born to attend–is incredibly dope. I love that dude loves words. And love that he loves jazz. And love that he makes the kind of hip-hop that fits my 29-year-old life.
This time last year, I considered leaving my job because I wanted to do social media-related work. Obviously, I made it work with my current employer and have settled into administrative support as my long term career field. This week, my boss approached me about performing some social media duties for our organization. It seems as though she’s heard through the grapevine that I have a knack for it. It’s funny how things turn out.
I’ve been experimenting with different methods of prayer. In the years following my breakdown, I kept a prayer journal but for the last year or so, even that’s felt forced. Sometimes I wake up and say a simple “Thank you” before I start the day. Other days, I’ll do a quick Facebook post thanking Life for random things for which I’m grateful. Today when I woke up, my first thought was “First of all, wanna thank my connect.” That’s a pretty dope way to say a prayer, so I’m sticking with that for now.