The Skinny Black Girl

To kick this off, let’s just pretend I’ve been blogging consistently all along and avoid the awkward “I’m back” deal, okay?

Good. This is why I love ya’ll. You’re so agreeable and chill.

I have more sense than I give myself credit for, and I realize this every time I check in with my Sister/Mentor to converse about life. During my trip to the east coast, our conversation led to (of course) romantic relationships and she gave me the highs and lows of being married to my older brother. When it came to defining marriage, I told her that I think it’s “Two people who want the same things in life come together and agree to thug it out for the rest of their lives.” My sister, who has been married for ten years, told me I was correct.

Not wanting and not “getting” something are two different things, apparently.

The one “major” change I’ve decided to make upon turning twenty-nine is letting my past, be my past. That means that the CJ Chronicles, my old daddy issues, my anger at Mama SBG for things that occurred in my childhood, my mental and emotional breakdown in 2008, are all part of a past life. I take ownership of those things but I no longer wish to carry them. I accept the version of me that those experiences created, but I’m done re-living them.

I don’t know how this works for writing a memoir based on this blog.

While I’m in this process of letting things go, I plan to go through my book collection and get rid of the titles that I either have no intention of reading or do not want to keep for future reference. There’s no point in keeping certain books because they “look good” in my collection if I don’t have book cases. I need the space and could definitely use whatever cash I can get from selling them.

A man whom I didn’t know ever read my blog recently asked if I was going to blog about him. “Do you read it?” I asked. “Sometimes,” he answered. He then proceeded to tell me about a post I forgot I wrote that he enjoyed. “When did I write that?” I asked. He said “November of last year.”

He was a couple of months off, but still. Blogging and entertaining the opposite sex will never not be interesting.

I’ve recently started taking maca root supplements because I want to re-gain some of the weight I lost earlier this year. The result is that I am perpetually horny and hungry. Now those who know me may say “What else is new?” But I literally open my eyes every morning with an urgent desire to straddle a warm male body. Half the time I can’t decide whether I want to be kissed or to devour a cheese steak and loaded fries.

I wanna write when I wanna write, and when I don’t wanna write, I want a pen that understands that.

Thank God for an understanding pen.