Bust a Move

“So I was reading this article in the Harvard Business Review…”

This was my Friday night. Hooking up penne pasta while on the phone with one of my besties, CT, having one of our famous Libra/Gemini “all around the world” conversations.  One minute, we’re talking about our homegirl’s upcoming wedding in June, then we’re laughing at some asinine (asi-ten, asi-eleven… Sorry. I had too much fun watching ESPN’s First Take during holiday vacation) thing some man has said or done to one of us, and then she’s telling me about something she heard on NPR or an article she’s read in the Harvard Business Review. It’s why we’re best friends and soul mates. The woman makes me better.

“Okay…” I reply, cradling my phone between my ear and my shoulder while dumping penne into a pot of boiling water.

“And it was about how we psyche ourselves out with motivation.”

I open the cabinet above my stove to reach for the Italian Seasoning. “Uh-huh…”

“The author used the example of wanting to work out. So you decide you should start working out, and start thinking about a plan, and trying to get yourself excited about starting the new routine. But in the process, you end up feeling guilty for not already having a work out routine. You beat yourself up until you’re defeated before you even start, so you never start.”

On that note, I put down the oregano that I’d been sprinkling over a pan of ground beef. How often had that set of circumstances played out in my mind? Every time I go to make a life change, I end up exhausted by my thoughts and just saying “Eff it.” I blame it on the depression-prone half of my brain that gets its kicks out of, well, kicking me. “Oh my God, I never thought about it like that, but you’re absolutely right, that happens to me all the time.”

I can practically hear CT nodding on the other end. “I know. Me too. So the article suggests that you stop trying to get yourself excited about things altogether. Decide to take a small step, and then just do it. Instead of fighting your brain into creating enthusiasm, ignore its resistance and just do it.”

Now I know there are people reading this who have probably been living their lives this way.  So to you, this isn’t news. But for me? An admittedly lazy and indecisive Libra whose brain treats change like Ali treated Liston? This is revolutionary stuff.

Later, I Google the article, “Your Problem Isn’t Motivation” by Peter Bregman, and fixate on one part in particular:

Here’s the key: if you want to follow through on something, stop thinking.

Shut down the conversation that goes on in your head before it starts. Don’t take the bait. Stop arguing with yourself.

Make a very specific decision about something you want to do and don’t question it. By very specific, I mean things like: I will work out tomorrow at 6 AM or I will only point out the things my employee does right or I will say at least one thing in the next meeting.

Then, when your mind starts to argue with you — and I guarantee it will — ignore it. You’re smarter than your mind. You can see right through it.

You’re smarter than your mind. You can see right through it.

For a person whose mind lives to play tricks on her, that is a powerful bit of knowledge.

Now the cliche thing to do would be to gush about how life changing this information is and how my life can improve by leaps and bounds if I adopt this practice. But eh. That feels too much like hype. And according to the article, one doesn’t need hype as much as they need follow through. So instead I’m just going to say “Thank you, Mr. Bregman. You’re definitely on to something here.”