Don’t quote me, boy cuz I ain’t said shit.
- Eric “Eazy E” Wright
Sometimes I get nervous about the things that I say on the web. This happens a lot lately, as I’m in transition and working through the aftermath of a break-up. I know that a lot of the things I blog or tweet are me talking through my emotions. There are times when I’m cynical, times that I’m sad and times when I’m downright dramatic. (Yes dramatic as in “I need to prepare to just ride out the next 50 years solo. I’ll collect shoes for fun and write books to stay busy.”)
I’m not a whiny person. At least not out loud. I keep most of my whining in my head. But I do want to be clear: my core has been shaken. I don’t say that to illicit “awwwws” or hugs. I say that because I want you all to understand that I could very well be talking out of my neck about a lot of things right now. Though I can recognize validity in some of my views (I’ve been questioning traditional marriages since I was 18 years old. I stand firmly in my skepticism there), but there will be times when I want you all to take what I’m saying with a few grains of salt. Don’t confront me about it, because I’ll either get defensive or dismissive. Just nod your head as you read and say “Yeah, she’s working through some shit right now” and leave me to my process.
I’m writing this post because I often read blogs where people use opinion-editorial pieces as platforms to deal with their issues without their readers’ knowledge. Instead of “What I’m dealing with right now is causing me to see the world this way,” you get “I’m right. The opposing side is wrong. End of story.” I’m not an expert in anything. Relationships, life… It’s a miracle to me when I go a full 24 hours without tripping over my own feet. I’m literally figuring things out as I go. Out loud. Some days I feel pretty on top of things. Some days I’m clueless. I’m fine with that. Such is life.
So don’t treat the words you see from me here, on Twitter or Tumblr as gospel. This is all subject to change as I grow and get a better feel for the world around me. If I’m writing things in two years that completely contradict what you see here today, don’t call me a hypocrite. Call it growth.